Derivation Probability

‘Psychic’ Sally Morgan was the centre of a brouhaha towards the end of last year and iscurrently suing the Daily Mail for defamation. For those of you who haven’t seen it, the article by Paul Zenon is still online here. At the time of posting anyway.

I couldn’t possibly comment on whether this self proclaimed ‘psychic’ is able to defy all current scientific knowledge and can supposedly hold conversations with the supposedly dead, and purely for legal reasons I am in no way accusing Sally Morgan of being anything but honest.

That said, if she can’t converse with dead people then she is being anything but honest.

Anyway, I’ve fashioned this lyrical nod to the legal wrangling. Sing to the tune of Mustang Sally by Wilson Pickett (or the Commitments version if you prefer).


Psychic Sally
Guess you better shoot that critic down
Psychic Sally, now tell me
How you going to shoot that critic down?
You’ve been performing all over town
Oh, I guess you gotta send out legal letters all around

And you wanna sue away doubt ‘bout Sally (doubt, Sally, doubt)
And you wanna sue away doubt ‘bout Sally (doubt, Sally, doubt)
And you wanna sue away doubt ‘bout Sally (doubt, Sally, doubt)
And you wanna sue away doubt ‘bout Sally (doubt, Sally, doubt)
‘Spite all our concerned warnings
Folks gonna be visiting those psychic shows, yeah

We thought you were maybe scamming 
It was in twenty eleven
Now you suin’ the Mail for embarrassment
Girl, you won’t, you won’t let it slide
Psychic Sally, now maybe (Sally, now maybe)
Press got too close to the bone, alright
You’ve been performing all over town
Oh, I guess you gotta send out legal letters all around

And you wanna sue away doubt ‘bout Sally (doubt, Sally, doubt)
And you wanna sue away doubt ‘bout Sally (doubt, Sally, doubt)
And you wanna sue away doubt ‘bout Sally (doubt, Sally, doubt)
And you wanna sue away doubt ‘bout Sally (doubt, Sally, doubt)
‘Spite all our concerned warnings
Folks gonna be visiting those psychic shows, yeah

Those psychic shows, oh yeah, those psychic shows
Those psychic shows, yeah, yeah, yeah, those psychic shows
Those psychic shows
Oh, those psychic shows
Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey yeah

(Read to the beat of Mary Mary)

Burzynski Burzynski quite skinflinty
How do your trials go?
With bags of cash and hopes a-dashed
And no results at all to show.

(Read to the beat of Three Blind Mice)

Three religious nuts.
Three religious nuts.
See how they pray.
See how they pray.
They all believe in the afterlife,
They’re all expecting the rapture sometime.
Did you ever see such a worrying thing in your life
As three religious nuts?
Three religious nuts.

(Read to the beat of Humpty Dumpty)

Chiropractic Dumpty set out his stall,
Chiropractic Dumpty had a great fall.
For all the clever bloggers,
And all the science men,
Picked holes in his “evidence” again and again.

Wouldn’t crosswords be boring if your answer to everything was “God did it”?

I was doorstepped by an elderly couple with a Watchtower tucked under each arm. In the ten minute conversation that ensued the old theist arguments of “the wonder of the creator” and “things look designed so they must be” came up.

I pointed out to the duo that for me, ascribing a creator to the universe and all that is within it actually removes any wonder I might have. That the universe has coalesced into the form it is today through the natural forces within it is far more wonderful to me than saying “God did it”.

That life on this planet has, over billions of years evolved into highly complex forms and is extremely well suited to the environment wherever it is found is wonderful. Saying “God made ‘em” isn’t.

After ten minutes this nice couple were (politely) trying to get away from me.

C’est la vie.

It would be a long show.